Paris Hilton partied at LAX Sunday night and got completely trashed before going on the mic and telling everyone she wanted to lick their balls. No, really.

By the way, umm, it’s fucking Sunday night, but DJ AM is here, the shit. He has all his boys. He fucking rocks. LAX is the best fucking place to go. Sunday night is my new favorite night. Everyone in here is rocking their fucking balls off. I love it. I want to suck it, fuck it, lick it, eat it, snort it, [something] it, cum on it. So, let’s all party our nuts off because this is the best crowd I’ve been. Fuck the Hollywood crowd. I want the LAX crowd to know here. Fucking, DJ AM, Steve Aoki and all of AM’s fucking boys who are the best DJ’s ever. We’re going to have so much fun tonight. I love you and there’s so many hot girls and boys here that I want to fuck you all. I love you all.

Last time I was at a club, I paid $10 to get in and was charged $9 for a Captain and Coke which I’m pretty sure the bartender spat in. My point is, LAX sounds pretty exciting. Especially when Paris Hilton gets on the mic to threaten you with STDs.

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