Britney secretly married

There was a rumor that when Britney went down to Mexico with Adnan last month the two were married. It seems Star Magazine took that rumor and ran with it since now they’re saying she actually did get married. Even if this were true, the marriage would be meaningless because Adnan has yet to divorce from his former wife, AzLynn Berry. Gatecrasher writes,

“Our source on this was not in Rosarito Beach at the ceremony, but is very familiar with the fact that [wedding] documents exist.”

More interestingly, the mag says Spears gave Ghalib $250,000 to grease AzLynn’s exit. She allegedly told her lawyers, who had imposed a grand-a-day spending limit, that she needed the cash for a new Mercedes.

I’m sure this all happened and the wedding ring was one of those lollipop rings little kids put on their fingers. Britney probably freaked out when she saw it, sucked on it throughout the entire ceremony and declared it the bestest present ever. I intended that to sound sarcastic and ridiculous, but it turned out to be quite the opposite.