Madonna’s cover for her new album Hard Candy, due out April 29, features the ghastly white singer adorned with a gold wrestling belt laying on top of one of those peppermints you take when you leave a restaurant. PEOPLE says the album is “about the juxtaposition of tough and sweetness.” I say it’s about the juxtaposition of albinism and cavities. But, that’s just me. I’m a realist.

This is the kind of art that makes you wonder, “What the fuck,” before leaving the store in quiet disgust. Also, this may come as a shock to some, but having an elderly woman give you the come hither look isn’t as enticing as it seems.