Barron Hilton

Paris Hilton’s little bro, 18-year-old Barron Hilton, plead no contest to DUI on Wednesday. His license has been suspended for a year and will be placed on three years probation. In addition, he must enroll in a three-month alcohol program, make a trip to the LA County morgue and listen to MADD lecture him.

Hilton’s attorney, Rich Hutton, entered the plea on behalf of his client this morning. Barron didn’t attend the proceedings, as he wasn’t required to be there.

It’s now pretty much a Hilton legacy to be a screw-up. You could put all the Hilton kids in a tightly sealed bubble and one of them would still manage to get really drunk and kill a hooker. The best thing to do is to throw them in the middle of a war zone on the enemy’s side because you know eventually they’re going to find a way to detonate an atomic bomb. Oh, and don’t think I didn’t suggest this to the Pentagon because I did. Right after I told them to bring The Wonder Years back and that Osama Bin Laden was hiding up Nicole Richie’s butt. The generals showed their appreciation by beating me with batons.