Aww, poor Mischa

Mishca Barton is mad Jamie Fawcett, a paparazzo, took pictures of her cellulite ridden ass sunbathing topless in Australia. Mischa says:

“He’s a ridiculous human being. I’ve never abhorred anyone more. I was so angry, I went up to him and said how disappointed I was with his behaviour. He apologised but he was very insincere.”

Fawcett responded that he already warned her that she was in a public place and advised her that there were private places to do what she was doing.

“We spoke to each other on the island, and that’s when I showed her my camera and I hadn’t taken any shots of her topless.

“I did warn her it was a public place, and if she wanted privacy she shouldn’t be there.

“I’m not a perv, and I didn’t intentionally mean to embarrass her. I don’t just set out and start my day thinking I want to get any celebrity topless.”

What? This is shocking. I thought every paparazzo’s day started with them thinking, “I wonder who’s going to be naked today. Please don’t be Britney, please don’t be Britney.” Coincidentally, that’s how I start my day too. That and a morning threesome with Playboy playmates. Sigh, my mornings are becoming so routine. Why can’t they be Victoria’s Secret models instead of playmates? Why does god hate me?