Ugh. Just looking at Doug Reinhardt stick his tongue down Paris Hilton’s throat makes me dry heave. Not even my enemies can hurt me any worse than these pictures have. Even though they once hired a dominatrix to jump on my balls while wearing high heels, this is still much worse. They should outlaw these in California. They clearly violate decency laws. Now if you’ll excuse me, I have to set my monitor on fire.