Justin Bieber’s First Paternity Suit

Today is a day of firsts. Selena Gomez had her first upskirt and now Justin Bieber has his first paternity suit. In papers filed in late October, Mariah Yeater is demanding Justin Bieber, 17, take a paternity test to confirm he is the father of her child. She’s asking for “adequate support for my baby.”

Mariah alleges one of Justin’s bodyguards went up to her during a show in LA on October 25th last year and asked if she wanted to go backstage. The answer was a resounding, “Duh, yes!” According to the suit, it wasn’t all sunshine and rainbows as he ended up sticking his dork in her without a condom.

“After waiting for a short period of time with several young women, Justin Bieber appeared and engaged me in conversation. Immediately, it was obvious that we were mutually attracted to one another, and we began to kiss. Shortly thereafter, Justin Bieber suggested that I go with him to a private place where we could be alone. I agreed to go with him and on the walk to a private area, he told me he wanted to make love to me and this was going to be his first time.

After walking away from the other people backstage, Justin Bieber found a place where we could be alone — a bathroom. We went inside and immediately his personality changed drastically. He began touching me and repeatedly said he wanted to f**k the s**t out of me. At the time I asked him to put a condom for protection, but he insisted that he did not want to.

In his own words, he said that because it was his first time he wanted to feel everything. Justin then “quickly took off my clothes.” He was on top of me with my legs around him. At the time I was on top of some type of shelf. The sexual intercourse itself was brief, lasting only approximately 30 seconds.” Radar Online

Not only does she sort of claim he forced himself on her but she even decides to humiliate him by saying he only lasted 30 seconds. Which is probably an accurate assessment. Bieber’s reps have flat out denied the claims. And why wouldn’t they? This sounds like fan fiction you’d find on a creepy Bieber forum.

This Mariah girl must be dumb as a rock if she’s lying. I’m not sure she realizes genetic testing is 99% accurate but no one tell her. When the judge tells her, “Justin Bieber is [dramatic pause] NOT the father,” I want to see her bolt up out of her seat in disbelief, put her hands on her hips and shout, “Aw, hellll, nah.”