Gerard Butler Banged a Brunette in a Porta-Potty at Coachella

When you’re Gerard Butler, banging Hollywood starlets gets pretty boring. Sometimes you need to have sex with a normal person in a Porta-Potty at Coachella to put things, like how awesome your life is, in perspective.

The Scottish heartthrob has remained sober at every festival soiree, but still can’t seem to control his love for the ladies. At the A/X Armani Exchange and T-Mobile Neon Carnival on Saturday, Butler made no secret of his latest target. Instead of hiding among the throngs of partygoers on the packed dance floor, Butler led his mystery brunette out into the open air for a seductive slow dance in an empty patch of pavement. “The two were grinding like they were at a middle school dance,” says our spy. “He didn’t seem to care who was watching.” After their spin, our spy watched Butler accompany his dance partner to the Porta-Potties before they returned to the carnival-themed bash. Page Six

First of all, things must have changed since I’ve been in school because there was no grinding on each other during middle school dances. It was more like boys stood on one side while girls stood on the other, each gender deciding who’d be brave enough to ask the other for an awkward slow dance.

Second of all, I hope they lit a candle while they were in there doing it in there. Not for ambiance, but to burn off any lingering farts.