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Forbes just released their list of the highest-paid actresses in Hollywood. Surprisingly, Kristen Stewart topped it. Turns out lip-biting and chronic constipation were in high demand last year. Most of her earnings (around $34.5M) were from Twilight but Snow White and the Huntsmen helped edge her past Cameron Diaz who made $34M. The full list below.

  1. Kristen Stewart – $34.5 million
  2. Cameron Diaz – $34 million (Bad Teacher)
  3. Sandra Bullock – $25 million (Extremely Loud & Incredibly Close)
  4. Angie Jolie – $20 million (Residuals and endorsement deals)
  5. Charlize Theron – $18 million (Young Adult, Snow White and the Huntsmen, Prometheus)
  6. Julia Roberts – $16 million (Larry CrowneMirror, Mirror)
  7. Sarah Jessica Parker- $15 million (Sex and the City residuals and perfumes)
  8. Meryl Streep – $12 million (Iron Lady)
  9. Kristen Wiig – $12 million (Bridesmaids)
  10. Jennifer Aniston – $12 million (Just Go With It, Wanderlust, Horrible Bosses)

How are Julia Roberts and Sarah Jessica Parker on this list? I haven’t met one person who wants to see them in a movie. In fact, whenever I tell someone about Julia Roberts and mention her horse face they always say the same thing. “But she was in Pretty Woman!” Listen buddy, that movie was 12 years ago and just because the title says so doesn’t make it true.