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Last Friday, while everyone was punching their fellow man to get a TV that was discounted at most 10%, Justin Bieber was in Canada meeting Prime Minister Stephen Harper. Why? Not because they finally decided to shoot him out of a cannon as punishment for his terrible music like I hoped but they wanted to present Biebs with the Diamond Jubilee Medal, otherwise known as “The Jerkoff Medal.”

The medal is said to be awarded to people who have made a significant contribution to a particular province, territory, region or community within Canada, or an achievement abroad that brings credit to Canada. Which should tell you a lot about Canada. It really IS America’s hat; an accessory that’s sometimes cool to have but otherwise you could live without.

By now, you’re probably wondering what they could have possibly talked about. “Justin Bieber is a ping pong player so they talked about ping pong and that they should meet and play ping pong next time,” said Harper spokeswoman Julie Vaux. That sounds like the most Canadian conversation ever.

Anyway, I want to point out what Justin Bieber was wearing. Overalls. He met the PM and accepted his medal wearing overalls. Not even that. They were only partially clipped to look “cool.” If I shook my head any harder, I’d break my neck.