joe-jonas-out

Blind Gossip has been reporting that Joe Jonas made a sex tape with girlfriend Blanda Eggenschwiler while drunk and high. They claim the footage features paddles, dildos and ball gags. Maybe all used on Joe Jonas. Joes rep denies all this of course saying no tape exists and that “There is no truth or validity to the story. It is completely false.” If you’re interested in reading what basically amounts to Jonas Brothers fan fiction, here you go.

The sex tape was made earlier this month in a room at Park Tower, a hotel in Buenos Aries, Argentina. Blanda, who describes herself as model from Switzerland, is traveling with the Jonas Brothers while they are on tour in South America.

The people who were in the room while the tape was being made were Joe, Blanda, and the photographer/videographer. The p/v is a friend of the couple, and was asked to shoot the video because they both trusted him. In addition to the video, he also took some very explicit nude photos of the couple.

At the beginning of the video, Joe and Blanda are sitting on the bed together. They are both drinking and smoking pot, and Blanda explains to Joe what she is going to do to him in detail.

They proceed to engage in multiple sex acts utilizing a variety of sex toys, including a large dildo, a gag ball, and a slapper paddle. Joe participates willingly, but seems less sure of how to use the sex toys, as well as how they will be used on him. He does not enjoy being paddled. At one point he has had enough and cries “Owww! Don’t do that anymore!” Blanda is the more dominant one in the video. At one point she inserts the dildo inside of herself, orders Joe to “lick my p**** juice off of it,” and he complies.

The couple is very vocal and there is a lot of overly dramatic screaming and moaning. The sex is explicit, and there are multiple close-up shots of Joe’s face, penis and testicles, as well as Blanda’s face, breasts, and vagina. In between sex acts, they consume shots of alcohol. The video looks as if it was shot over the course of several hours, and some scenes were shot multiple times, so we do not know which takes will appear in the final cut. Both Joe and Blanda start out sober but appear to be inebriated by the end of it.

In about 2 months, this is going to become a New York Times best seller called 30 Shades of Gay and then there’ll come the rumors that Zac Efron will star in the big screen adaptation. I’m calling it right now.