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According to Radar, Jack Nicholson is retiring from acting after five decades because his memory isn’t what it used to be. Simply put, he can’t remember his lines anymore.

“Jack has — without fanfare — retired,” a well-placed Hollywood film insider confirmed to Radar.

“There is a simple reason behind his decision — it’s memory loss. Quite frankly, at 76, Jack has memory issues and can no longer remember the lines being asked of him.

Well the guy is 76. His brain is pretty much mush now. He probably doesn’t even know how to get to second base anymore. He probably just puts his hands on a girl’s stomach, looks at her and winks.