Paris Hilton Loves Our Racist President

Print media moves slowly. When you do an interview for a monthly magazine like Marie Claire, you’re talking to a reporter up to a month before the magazine goes to print, and after printing, magazines are distributed to newsstands and shops a week or longer before they go on the shelves. So Paris Hilton is partially a victim of circumstance in that her Marie Claire interview, where she calls herself a fan of Donald Trump, was published while Trump was giving a press conference about how awesome Nazis are and how the left are the real racists or whatever stupid s**t he said.

Here’s the relevant part of the Marie Claire piece, which is a profile of Hilton written over months of meetings and interviews. And do keep in mind this apparently was from earlier on in that process, when Hilton would have had no idea Trump would be supporting Nazis aside from his hiring Steve Bannon and his 71 year history of abject, bald-faced racism.

Contrary to news reports, she says she didn’t vote for Trump—she didn’t vote at all. And she doesn’t agree with everything he’s said. “I love the people here, and I don’t think that they should be talked about like that at all,” Hilton says of Trump’s claim that Mexico was sending rapists and criminals over the border. Still, she says, her old family friend, whom she calls “an incredible businessman,” will be a good president.

“I’ve known him since I was a little girl. And he’s always been so nice, so respectful and sweet,” she says.

But…what about the time he said, “I’ve known Paris Hilton from the time she’s 12. Her parents are friends of mine, and the first time I saw her, she walked into a room, and I said, ‘Who the hell is that?'” Oh, and he said he watched your sex tape. Doesn’t that creep you out?

She shrugs it off: It was on Howard Stern’s show.

So, too, Hilton dismisses the infamous “grab them by the pussy” line. “I’ve heard guys say the craziest things ever, because I’m always around guys, and I listen to them speak,” she says. As for the women who allege that Trump sexually assaulted them, “I think that they are just trying to get attention and get fame,” she shrugs, staring out the window.

To be fair to Hilton, ignoring sexual assault and calling the victims fame-seeking liars while telling everyone what a great feminist you are is also behavior engaged in by Hillary Clinton, so maybe one day Paris Hilton can run for president and lose to a barely-literate troglodyte due to massive incompetence.

I think the most reassuring part of this profile, which mostly raves at the success Paris Hilton has had turning being an empty-headed slut with vast inherited wealth into a global brand (no wonder she likes Donald Trump, they’re basically the same person), is that Hilton didn’t vote. Because even though I don’t like the way the election turned out, I feel better knowing that Paris Hilton doesn’t have a say in the direction of the country, despite her claim that she voted in the 2006 presidential election that only took place in her mind.