Eli Roth gives us a teaser trailer for Hostel 2. I still don’t know why some people go gonzo over the first one. All it had was naked chicks, ultra-violence and, um, nevermind.
Angelina Jolie wants to adopt an Indian baby. Remember that Simpsons episode where children of different cultures sit around in a circle and then Bart gets them to turn on each other? I think Angelina Jolie watched that episode one too many times.
Elisabeth Hasselbeck is crying over a Law & Order SVU episode where a character named Elizabeth Hassenback was raped twice and then killed. The producers must hate her if they had her raped twice. Jesus.
Rihanna has an impressive forehead. Thankfully your eyes don’t move up far enough to notice. If you’re ever stuck on an island with her, you don’t have to go far to crack some coconuts.
Paris Hilton has a new puppy. Funny how 90% of the animals she brings home are never to be seen again.
Beyoncé Ordering Food Has Turned into a Meme
Kids Who Want to Waste Thousands of Dollars Studying a Fake ‘Game of Thrones’ Language Are in Luck
Jennifer Lawrence Is Totally Marrying Darren Aronofsky This Summer
Katy Perry’s New Song Empowers Women To Have Food Sex or Something
Ja Rule’s $12,000 Ticket Music Festival Ends in ‘Lord of the Flies’ Nightmare With Kidnapping and Mugging Rumors
Obama’s First Joke About Trump Was Perfect
Rita Ora’s Gonna Regret This Outfit One Day
It’s Kylie Jenner’s Soulless Dead Eyes…And Her Sexy Midriff!
Kendall Jenner Gets Camera Shy Which Is Really Ironic
R. Kelly Sued for Nailing Sheriff Deputy’s Wife and Giving Her Chlamydia
The Rest of the Web, Thursday, 4.27.17
‘The Simpsons’ Fails to Bring Comedy to Donald Trump’s First 100 Days