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Hugh Hefner is gallant

Holly

The 81-year-old dinosaur Hugh Hefner wants to impregnate Holly. It’s no wonder why he’s king of the castle with these endearing words,

I don’t know if at this age it is physically possible but we’ve certainly talked about it and it’s certainly a possibility. She certainly has my heart, so maybe she’ll have my sperm too!

Funny, I didn’t think Hugh could get it up still. I imagine his penis would turn to dust if anyone touched it. It would probably crumble away like the dignity his girlfriends once had. Although according to this book, Hugh can still maintain an erection with the help of Viagra. Hugh has also made Wednesdays and Fridays at the Playboy mansion sex night where he watches gay porn while having unprotected sex with 10 girls in a row.

How is a man who’s 78 years old able to have sex with that many women?
He doesn’t really do anything. He just lies there with his Viagra erection. It’s just a fake erection, and each girl gets on top of him for two minutes while the girls in the background try to keep him excited. They’ll yell things like, “F-k her daddy, f-k her daddaddy!” There’s a lot of cheerleader going on!

After the two minutes are up what happens?
The main girlfriend wipes off his penis. She’s the girl who actually shares the bed with him. She sleeps there all night. She’s around 22 years old. He uses all the same girls. She’s been there for three years now.

That’s actually pretty sad. I do around 20 girls on an off night. I guess not everyone can be a stud like me. Although I do admit it becomes tiring sometimes. Some nights I shake my fists in the air and curse God for making me so beautiful and giving me this superhuman endurance.

  • Crusader70

    Or it could be that he was 91.

  • crizz1066

    Doubt it, his whole life was heaven…also as God and all religions are hogwash. He defiantly won’t be going!!!!

  • Mare

    If she signed a pre-nup, then she already knew she’d get nothing on his death. That doesn’t make her a gold digger, but eww.

    • Doodah

      She actually got $5milion dollars and a $7 million home. Part of the marriage deal. It is all in a trust that is solely in her name.

    • jwoolman

      I’m sure she knew all about it when she married him also. She should be pretty well set for life if she is smart about it. This arrangement prevented any endless fights between her and the kids, and he got to decide exactly what would go to charities and to his children without any extra hassle. It must have been worth it to her, although she was initially a reluctant bride.

  • Roger

    I would have a Level A Hazmat Suit

  • eboe thrasher

    The $1000 WAS the clothing allowance. Learn to figure shit out.

  • trixi

    Has nobody thought that she got her “inheritance” before he died. Gifts, cash and otherwise, his name, etc. I am sure she is not hurting financially!

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