ESC

Assault at the Playboy Mansion

Kendra Wilkinson

Police are investigating a possible sexual assault at the Playboy Mansion. A statement released to ET said,

“On Wednesday, August 6th, Los Angeles Police Department detectives began an investigation related to a report of a possible sexual assault at the Playboy Mansion in West L.A. For reasons of law and confidentiality that are critical in such investigations of this type, no additional information will be released at this time.”

It’s the Playboy Mansion. If you’re a girl, you expect with 100% certainty that your breasts will be groped at some point during the night. If you’re a guy, you expect with 100% certainty that you’ll accidentally put your hand up a girl’s shirt 10 times at some point during the night. It’s a miracle the police don’t investigate more frequently. If the LAPD is confused about their findings, the dirty condoms floating in the pool trap could indicate sexual activity occurred during the party. Just a thought.

  • Things move on and print just isn’t where it’s at

  • AlanOne7

    Playboy is a victim of its own success. They wanted porn to be stigma-free and easily available, and they got it. Thanks for the trail-blazing, now your job is done.
    Oh, and Eggos are disgusting. Learn to whip up a batch of waffles; it takes five minutes.

  • Sinead McGowan

    I still wank it to Azaelia Banks

  • Daemon Calibos

    And they actually bought the lie that we were buying it for the articles.

  • TO BLACKS

    FREE PORNO

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