Paris Hilton is a monkey

Paris Hilton, a changed woman mind you, got hosed at an Emmy party and decided to scale an iron gate like a slutty lemur. To everyone’s disappointment, she managed to make it over and not fall and crack her head.

Sure Paris. You can climb a fence when you’re drunk. But, can you stand on the hood of a car going 40 mph? I bet you can’t. Oh, yea? Why don’t you prove it to me.