Britney’s mom will teach you how to parent

Britney Spears’ mother, Lynne Spears, is set to write a book detailing how a virtually unknown mother managed to raise two celebrity children. It will be titled Pop Culture Mom: A Real Story of Fame and Family in a Tabloid World.

“It’s a parenting book that’s going to have faith elements to it. I don’t think it’s totally been written yet,” says the publisher’s rep, who expects the manuscript by December.

Any 2 year old who sees this on their mother’s night stand should just jump out the window or do whatever it is babies do to kill themselves nowadays. You’ll actually be able to tell who’s reading this book by the dead babies on the sidewalk. The book is basically going to be about how to force your child into the spotlight and how to subsequently estrange yourself from them by forcing the vagina flashing, drug abusing monster you created into rehab. It’ll be so horrid, child developmentalists are going to use this book as a guide on how not to raise your children or, if they really hate you, tell you to use this as a step-by-step parenting guide.