Britney Spears’ blood test came back negative meaning the singer was not drunk or on drugs. That’s a good thing, right? Uh, sure, if being psycho is better than being drunk or high. Life & Style says that “Britney appeared to be laughing when she was taken from her home into an ambulance.” While Us Magazine says,
“They had to strap her down like a mental patient and she was going between laughing and hysterics,” the source adds, calling it “a total psychotic breakdown. She just went crazy.”
As a result, Britney has now been designated a “special needs” patient (snicker) at Cedars-Sinai. Special needs patients are characterized as having tried to commit suicide or overdosing and are monitored 24/7. So, if Britney’s blood test came back clean, then I wonder which one it is? I was never good at multiple choice. All I know is that the only thing left to do is whisper nonsense in her ears while she’s sleeping just for kicks. Stuff like, “Don’t trust the turkey. He’ll turn on you,” and “The Hershey’s bar is coming with his marshmallow friends to take take Sean and Jayden away. Eat them. Eat them now!” This should make her either go completely bonkers or make her really hungry.
Update: Maybe I’ll make a new post about this, but until then. Britney’s visitation rights have been suspended and she’ll be monitored for 72 hours at the hospital.
The Rest of the Web, Friday, 4.28.17
Sign Me Up for This Napping Fitness Class
Beyoncé Ordering Food Has Turned into a Meme
Kids Who Want to Waste Thousands of Dollars Studying a Fake ‘Game of Thrones’ Language Are in Luck
Jennifer Lawrence Is Totally Marrying Darren Aronofsky This Summer
Katy Perry’s New Song Empowers Women To Have Food Sex or Something
Ja Rule’s $12,000 Ticket Music Festival Ends in ‘Lord of the Flies’ Nightmare With Kidnapping and Mugging Rumors
Obama’s First Joke About Trump Was Perfect
Rita Ora’s Gonna Regret This Outfit One Day
It’s Kylie Jenner’s Soulless Dead Eyes…And Her Sexy Midriff!
Kendall Jenner Gets Camera Shy Which Is Really Ironic
R. Kelly Sued for Nailing Sheriff Deputy’s Wife and Giving Her Chlamydia