Halle Berry gave birth

Hally Berry finally squeezed out a 7lb 4oz baby girl on Sunday morning, March 16. Halle is a hot piece of ass and her boyfriend, Gabriel Aubry, is a model so I’m sure the baby’s genetics are amazing. That or by some cruel twist of fate she’ll be so ugly they’ll be forced to keep her in a potato sack.

“Halle was overcome with emotion when she finally held her little girl. She said everything she had gone through was worth that moment. The tears kept coming as Halle didn’t even want the nurses to take her baby to clean her up and measure. It was a truly beautiful scene.”

If I was a woman and I’d just given birth, I’d ask the doctors to give that thing that just slid out of me a bath and hang one of those pine tree air fresheners around its neck like they do to cars after a car wash. Newborns are always covered in slimy stuff. That’s gross. Plus, that gunk might make them slippery. I’d be deathly afraid of them popping out of my hands like a bar of soap. I don’t know what I’d do if that happened. Probably make a quiet exit while everyone in the room looked on in disbelief.