During her visit to South Africa to support Benji Madden’s band, Paris Hilton wanted to buy a cheetah. Not a stuffed animal cheetah mind you, but a real, flesh tearing one.
“Every time Paris saw something she liked, like a woman’s dress, she would ask how much it was. That included a cheetah she saw at an animal park. She asked how much it was and said, ‘If I bought a cheetah, would it run away from me or could I keep it?'”
Let this dumbass have it. With any luck, as Paris scuffles her size 11 feet across the floor in her half-assed attempt at walking like a normal person, the cheetah will think she’s an injured antelope and pounce.
Jennifer Lawrence Is Totally Marrying Darren Aronofsky This Summer
Katy Perry’s New Song Empowers Women To Have Food Sex or Something
Ja Rule’s $12,000 Ticket Music Festival Ends in ‘Lord of the Flies’ Nightmare With Kidnapping and Mugging Rumors
Obama’s First Joke About Trump Was Perfect
Rita Ora’s Gonna Regret This Outfit One Day
It’s Kylie Jenner’s Soulless Dead Eyes…And Her Sexy Midriff!
Kendall Jenner Gets Camera Shy Which Is Really Ironic
R. Kelly Sued for Nailing Sheriff Deputy’s Wife and Giving Her Chlamydia
The Rest of the Web, Thursday, 4.27.17
‘The Simpsons’ Fails to Bring Comedy to Donald Trump’s First 100 Days
Robert De Niro Is the New Snapchat King
Nordstrom Is Selling Dirty Jeans for an Insane Price