At only 15 years of age, Miley Cyrus has amassed a fortune so huge that she’d be able to make Lindsay Lohan punch herself in the ovaries repeatedly for 8 hours straight with a snap of her fingers. That fortune will now become even bigger as Miley signed a seven-figure book deal with Disney Book Group. The book will be about her “road to fame, from growing up in Tennessee to navigating the spotlight as an international star, and how her family — especially mother Leticia — helps keep her grounded.”
In other news, my roommate caught me licking pieces of hot pocket off the microwave walls after it exploded. I left the kitchen slightly embarrassed. I probably should have put some clothes on.
Jennifer Lawrence Is Totally Marrying Darren Aronofsky This Summer
Katy Perry’s New Song Empowers Women To Have Food Sex or Something
Ja Rule’s $12,000 Ticket Music Festival Ends in ‘Lord of the Flies’ Nightmare With Kidnapping and Mugging Rumors
Obama’s First Joke About Trump Was Perfect
Rita Ora’s Gonna Regret This Outfit One Day
It’s Kylie Jenner’s Soulless Dead Eyes…And Her Sexy Midriff!
Kendall Jenner Gets Camera Shy Which Is Really Ironic
R. Kelly Sued for Nailing Sheriff Deputy’s Wife and Giving Her Chlamydia
The Rest of the Web, Thursday, 4.27.17
‘The Simpsons’ Fails to Bring Comedy to Donald Trump’s First 100 Days
Robert De Niro Is the New Snapchat King
Nordstrom Is Selling Dirty Jeans for an Insane Price