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Martha Stewart makes my penis tremble

Martha Stewart

By now, everyone has to be aware that the “Got Milk?” ads are a sly attempt at connecting milk with a facial. That’s why adverts depicting Hayden Panettiere, Amanda Bynes and others with a milk mustache are met with such enthusiasm.

Well, the bright minds running the milk campaign thought it would be a good idea to have Martha Stewart in one of their trademark ads. They’re jackasses. Now I have these gross images of Martha opening her mouth and saying “Ahhh,” popping into my head. Is this hell? Do you think I can stop these vile thoughts by stabbing myself in the brain with a chopstick?

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Nah dude, she either waxing her moustache, or she’s trying to solicit moustache rides to young Suzy Homemakers.
As I’ve always thought she was a bit dykey I’d go with the later.

“…..fold your panties neatly and place them on the ironing board. Now lower yourself to my mouth…”
All in that husky Martha voice.

“… later I’ll show you how to toss my salad properly…”

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Yeah, that made my testicles draw back into my scrotum.

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We don’t need celebs doing this shit, we need random, good-looking people who have never been in TV or movies, like the kind of people in modeling agencies, like the Janice Dickinson Modeling Agency.

For real, because almost every celebrity has a group of people, SOMEWHERE out there, hates them.

Like, for example, I really dislike Alexis Bledel, and it’s because she just looks to innocent and always plays an innocent little girl.

But with randomly good-looking people, there are probably not many people who even know them.

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