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Matthew McConaughey and Camila Alves have a boy

Matthew McConaughey and Camila Alves

Matthew McConaughey’s girlfirend, Camila Alves, gave birth to a 7 lbs. 4 oz. future beach bum on Monday night. No name has been given, so here are some surfer suggestions. Hang Ten, Brohym, Gnarly, Rip Curl or Chad. Matt’s brother, Rooster (!!), expressed his enthusiasm, “Oh, it’s going to be fun! He’ll make a really good dad because he’s got a lot of patience. I’m excited for him. It’s about time.”

Here’s to Matt and Camila’s little boy. Surfing in the tub in 6 months, perennially shirtless in 8 years, banging models by 16, coked out of his mind, naked and playing the bongos at his friend’s house by 20.

[Matthew McConaughey and pregnant girlfriend Camila Alves attend the W Magazine party for Stewart Townsend’s directorial debut. Image via Splash News]

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God, just imagine the stink when they fuck, what with McConaughey’s refusal to wear any kind of deodorant/antiperspirant or cologne. You can bet the kid will be brainwashed not to use any deodorant as well.

There’s a sickening thought

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