This picture may or may not be a new hacked Miley Cyrus cell phone picture. You can’t really see her face so there’s no definitive proof, but if my years as a detective has taught me anything at all it’s that Oreo ice cream cake is delicious.
In other Miley Cyrus news, the 15-year-old Disney golden goose has been approached by LifeStyles Condoms to be their new spokesperson.
“Pop culture proves that teens are more ready than ever to disuss the subject of sex,” said Carol Carrozza, VP of marketing for LifeStyles. “With recent reports showing that one out of four teenage girls has an STD and the high level of teenage pregnancy, we believe that Miley is both influential and relatable to this afflicted set – and is the obvious choice to get the message of safe sex out to teens across America.”
Miley’s reps have stated that this will never happen despite LifeStyles’ offer of a lifetime supply of prophylactics.
I’m not sure how I feel about a 15-year-old kid reminding me to have safe sex. Not because she’s 15 mind you, but because condom commercials are weird. Take Trojan commercials for example. There’s a bunch of pigs sitting in a bar gawking at hot chicks walking by. That doesn’t remind me to wear a condom, that reminds me that I love bacon and hot chicks.
Who knows what Miley Cyrus’ commercial would end up looking like. They’ll probably try to tap into the preteen market by having her demonstrate proper condom usage on a unicorn and when she finally gets it on, a rainbow will appear and a minute later they’ll cut back to the unicorn, now slumped over on the edge of the bed saying, “Sorry, this usually never happens. God, I am so sorry.”