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Lily Allen wants to hear the good side of cocaine

Lily Allen @ The Beach

The media has long vilified cocaine. They’ve accused it of ruining lives and causing deaths among other things. Lily Allen wants to know why does the media have to be like that? Why can’t they ever publish stories about all the good cocaine does like keeping you awake until 7 am the next day so you can get your work done and helping you lose weight. Allen tells Word Magazine:

“I know lots of people who take cocaine three nights a week and get up and go to work. But we never hear that side of the story. I wish people wouldn’t sensationalise it. Some people are just bad at taking drugs.”

Lily is right. The media always blows these things out of proportion. Lots of people take cocaine and lead functional, fulfilling lives. Take Amy Winehouse for example. Apart from a few hospital visits, a scabby face and self-inflicted wounds, cocaine has done wonders for her.

Compare that to your mom who doesn’t take cocaine. When was the last time she took a lavish trip to St. Lucia where she took her top off and frolicked in the ocean with a twenty-something struggling actor? That’s right. Never. She’s still stuck at home washing your soiled underwear. Game. Set. Match. Cocaine.

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Herman Bumfudle
11 years ago

cocaine is for the girls who’d rather pass out, than to fake the orgasm they didn’t get.

Kemp
Kemp
11 years ago

You need to know a bit about brain left/right structure and function and CNS crosswiring, nasal direct wiring, and the effects and some history of cocaine to use it to best effect. It also helps to know about the drug war and the insanity it has wrought on society. And yes, women using cocaine tend to like it up the butt. Nothing wrong with that.

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