Lily Allen @ The Beach

The media has long vilified cocaine. They’ve accused it of ruining lives and causing deaths among other things. Lily Allen wants to know why does the media have to be like that? Why can’t they ever publish stories about all the good cocaine does like keeping you awake until 7 am the next day so you can get your work done and helping you lose weight. Allen tells Word Magazine:

“I know lots of people who take cocaine three nights a week and get up and go to work. But we never hear that side of the story. I wish people wouldn’t sensationalise it. Some people are just bad at taking drugs.”

Lily is right. The media always blows these things out of proportion. Lots of people take cocaine and lead functional, fulfilling lives. Take Amy Winehouse for example. Apart from a few hospital visits, a scabby face and self-inflicted wounds, cocaine has done wonders for her.

Compare that to your mom who doesn’t take cocaine. When was the last time she took a lavish trip to St. Lucia where she took her top off and frolicked in the ocean with a twenty-something struggling actor? That’s right. Never. She’s still stuck at home washing your soiled underwear. Game. Set. Match. Cocaine.

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