Madonna might adopt again

Madonna was asked whether or not she’d ever steal a baby from Malawai again. She replied, “Never say never,” and then cackled loudly.

“I have four children now and I’d like to think I’m a good mother,” Madonna told the Telegraph. “I feel a great sense of satisfaction in all areas of my life.”

I can think of other things I’d rather do than spend my days cradled in Madonna’s bony arms and held inches away from her shriveled breasts which now produce milk in the form of powder. Diving head first into a meat grinder would be one of them. Another would be having a threesome with Lindsay Lohan and Paris Hilton without a condom. With that last one I’m hoping Paris and Lindsay’s diseases will battle for supremacy and leave my immune system alone long enough to build up defenses.