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Artie Lange stabbed himself 9 times

Howard Stern’s sidekick Artie Lange stabbed himself 9 times in “an apparent suicide attempt” reports Page Six. Sources say Lange’s mom came to visit him Saturday at his Hoboken apartment to drop off food when she found him bloodied. They say Lange had six hesitation wounds and three deep plunges. Surgeons were able to stem the bleeding and save Lange.

Suicide is depressing. Why can’t it ever be funny. Why can’t we ever get stories of someone like Jessica Simpson stabbing herself with a hot dog only to give up and eat it?

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