Kate Gosselin is starting over

Kate Gosselin probably had enough of people making fun of her and her stupid hair so she went and got a new hairdo and debuted it on the cover of PEOPLE. Kate still looks ridiculous, but now in a different way. She says that with this new haircut she’s “starting over”. Again.

“It’s good to have hair again,” Kate tells People. “I never thought I’d have short hair for as long as I did. I feel like this is a fresh start, a fresh me, a fresh life.”

Later, she refers to herself as the new “Kate Clean Slate.”

“I’m rebuilding. There’s no option for this not to be a good year. Now I get to start over with a new self and new goals.”

Kate Clean Slate would make a really good porn name. She could be in one of those movies where she’s a teacher and that’d be the nickname her students give to her and one day after class one of them will ask to clean her slate and then that’s what they do. Clean the chalkboard. Because who wants to have sex with that annoying bitch?