What we’ve all feared, Tila Tequila is pregnant
Tila Tequila has made good on her threats to bring a baby into this world. Obama has raised the national threat level to red. Bounties have been placed on Tila’s unborn child. For the love of god, we can not let this thing spawn.
For the past Month or so, I have been hinting to the media that I am pregnant, but that it is nobody’s business. Just like when Jane Valez Mitchell, on CNN, when she asked me if I was pregnant, i said “POSSIBLY YES” then I told her, “Listen, when the time is right, I will let everyone know, but all I can say right now is that I am very much looking forward to being a MOMMY!”
Well anyone who has half a brain out there would KNOW that, that means I am pregant! DUH!
SO THAT IS THE AMAZING NEWS EVERYONE! FOR THE PAST COUPLE OF DAYS I KNOW YOU HAVE ALL SEEN ME TWEETING ABOUT “MIRACLES” AND HOW HAPPY I AM AND EVERY ONCE IN A WHILE “SLIP OUT” ACCIDENTLY LATE NIGHTS THAT I HAVE A BABY! OF COURE I DELETED IT RIGHT AWAY CUZ I DIDN”T WANT ANYONE TO KNOW YET! FOR ALL THE LADIES OUT THERE WHO HAS WANTED A BABY FOR SO LONG, YOU KNOW THAT FEELING OF BEING SOOOOOOOO EXCITED THAT YOU WANT TO TELL THE WHOLE WORLD, BUT YOU CAN’T YET UNTIL THE RIGHT MOMENT COMES??? ALL MOTHERS KNOW EXACTLY WHAT I AM TALKING ABOUT! WELL THAT WAS ME SHOWING MY EXCITEMENT! I KNEW I HAD A LIFE GROWING INSIDE OF ME AND I AM SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO HAPPY ABOUT IT THAT SOMETIMES I CANNOT HOLD IN THE INFO! SO SOMETIMES LATE NIGHT WHEN I THINK NOBODY IS READING MY TWEETS, I MENTION THAT I HAVE A BABY. BUT PEOPLE THINK I’M JOKING CUZ I TRY TO COVER IT UP THE NEXT DAY SO NOBODY KNOWS FOR SURE IF I AM PREGNANT.
HOWEVER…………..I HAVE WAITED LONG ENOUGH.
THE BIG NEWS EVERYONE: TILA TEQUILA IS OFFICALLY PREGNANT, 100% CONFIRMED!!!!!!!!!!!!!! & THIS BABY WAS NO “ACCIDENT” EITHER!!!!!!!!
IT IS A TRULY TOUCHING STORY THAT I WILL TELL YOU ONE DAY……BUT I GOT PREGNANT FOR CASEY! BECAUSE SHE WATED TO START A FAMILY AND SINCE SHE ALREADY HAD AN ADOPTED DAUGHTER, SHE WANTED ME TO BECOME THE PREGNANT ONE!!!!!!!!!! BUT NOW THAT SHE IS GONE…. A NEW LIFE IS BORN AND I KNOW HER SPIRITS ARE IN MY BEAUTIFUL MIRACLE BABY GROWING INSIDE OF ME RIGHT NOW! I AM SO HAPPY! MY LIFE IS ABOUT TO CHANGE BIGTIME! I AM GOING TO BE A MOTHER AND I CANNOT WAIT! I HAVE BEEN WAITING FOR THIS MOMENT FOR SUCH A LONG TIME! AND NOW, MY BABY JAYDEN, HAS FINALLY COME BACK TO MOMMY!
Hopefully this is just another one of Tila Tequila’s many cries for attention. God knows what a mini-Tila running around would be like. Assuming it’s a girl, her voice would be much higher pitched and he verbal diarrhea twice as annoying. I have nightmares of Tila stroking mini-Tila in her lap and then telling her to sic whoever she hated at the moment.
