Paris Hilton isn’t going to jail

In late August, Paris Hilton was arrested for possession of cocaine at Wynn hotel in Vegas. Paris claimed the purse the baggie of coke fell out of wasn’t hers but of course no one believed her because she’s a lying whore.

On Monday, Paris is set to plead guilty to two misdemeanors which will get her a year probation with no jail time. According the the Las Vegas Review Journal, the original felony charge wouldn’t have resulted in jail time. Vegas sounds fun! Although, if Paris is arrested during her probation, she’ll spend a full year in jail.

“Defendant shall stay out of trouble. Defendant agrees that an arrest for any charge, excluding minor traffic violations for which a citation is issued, shall result in the immediate termination of her probation and the execution of the suspended sentences,” the plea deal states. A minor traffic violation is anything other than a reckless driving or driving under the influence charge.

Clark County District Attorney David Roger said, “We fashioned a resolution which would give us complete control over her future. If she does not toe the line and stay out of trouble she will do one year in the Clark County Detention Center.”

Most other defendants would not have a year of jail hanging over their heads for being arrested, Roger said. Normally a conviction would be necessary.

“There are very strict limits on her future conduct. We will not have to litigate whether she was convicted of the charge or whether the charge was a major or minor offense,” Roger said.

Roger said prison time was not an option because of the limitations on the charge by statute, and that Hilton won’t get special treatment. She will have to walk through the front doors of the courthouse “just like any other criminal defendant,” he said.

Paris must also pay a $2,000 fine, complete a substance abuse program and complete 200 hours of community service.

Good. I hope they make her pick up trash on the side of the road in 100 degree weather in a dull, ugly orange jumpsuit. That’d be a real punishment because her two biggest fears in life are being on a worst dressed list and having an ugly picture taken of her. So, not only would the photo of her in Us show her in an offensive outfit, it would also show her with huge sweat stains on her back and pits. That would absolutely kill her inside and absolutely make me smile.