Joe Jonas is in love with Ashley Greene

To prove he’s not gay, Joe Jonas took time out from his busy schedule to put a voice changer up to his mouth to talk to the media about how straight he is for hanging out with Ashley Greene at Walgreens while she buys tampons. At least that’s what I think PEOPLE is implying happened when they say, “But the duo, who were recently spotted on a Disneyland date and holding hands at a Walgreens, aren’t hiding their relationship any longer. ”

Joe, excuse me, a source told PEOPLE, “[Joe] is head over heels for [Ashley]. He thinks she is down-to-earth and absolutely beautiful. He hasn’t been this into a girl in a long time.”

It doesn’t help those gay rumors when people make Joe out to be such a girl. Down-to-earth and absolutely beautiful? It’s like he’s Katherine Heigl in one of her horrible romcoms.