Snooki will sign autographs for her community service

Back in July, Snooki was arrested for being drunk in public. The judge sentenced her to two days of community service after she plead guilty. People laughed but the joke is on us it seems because part of her two day service will be a 3-hour autograph session.

Snooki will hit up the Seaside Heights Community Center this weekend to sign autographs for a fund-raising event for an animal charity. Snooki will also personally donate an undisclosed amount. Probably $10 and a half-full bottle of vodka. They say Snooki will also do private community service that will take a few hours of her time but her people aren’t saying what it is.

This is complete crap. Snooki isn’t even a real celebrity. She’s a tiny orange troll who wandered into the Jersey Shore casting office because she thought that was where the Lollipop Guild auditions were being held. Who would want an autograph from her? You can’t even sell it on eBay. The only way it would get any bids is if someone thought to themselves, “Hmm, that’s a nice piece of paper.” I could auction off “punches to the face” and I’d get more bids than Snooki’s autograph.

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12 years ago

So she’s gonna spend all day scrawling “X” on pieces of paper? That’s all she’s qualified for…

12 years ago

oh shut up.