Heidi Montag Feels Like Edward Scissorhands

For sympathy and a paycheck, Heidi Montag boo-hooed to Life & Style about the 10 plastic surgeries she willingly underwent that left her bruised and scarred for life. Heidi admits that parts of her body look worse than they did pre-surgery and exclaimed that this wasn’t what she signed up for. She also went through a exacerbating list of what the surgeries have done to her body.

The former Hills star reveals a series of unsightly scars, red inflammation and uneven body parts including: a 2-inch-long raised blemish under her chin from her chin reduction, two caterpillar-size bald spots along her hairline from a brow lift, a horrifying jagged line behind her ears from having her ears pinned back, lumpy legs and four spots left on her lower back and below the buttocks from botched liposuction, a bright-red mark inside her right nostril, uneven boobs, a stretched mark on her chest and deep scars around her nipples from a second boob job.

“The big dark mark from my chin reduction is probably the most noticeable. But the absolute worst is on my breasts, and the scariest is below my butt cheek.”

Heidi’s surgeries were done by Dr. Frank Ryan who died in a car crash in August and it seems Heidi still resents him for what he did because she added, “People have fewer scars from car accidents than I have on my body.” Aw, snap!

She says she wishes she had a time machine to take it all back but instead “I’m always going to feel like Edward Scissorhands.”

Poor Heidi but it’s her own damn fault for being Dr. Frankenstein’s masterpiece. I’ve seen the Lohans make better decisions than her.

Every time Heidi talks about this, I think of the Joker transformation scene from Batman.

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