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Nicole Richie and Joel Madden marry

I had no idea these two were still relevant but eyeliner enthusiast Joel Madden and former Paris Hilton bff, Nicole Richie, were married at Lionel Richie’s house on Saturday. Attending the nuptials were 130 close family and friends and a trained elephant. Huh? Is that a euphemism for Jessica Simpson? Because that’s mean.

But one attendee stood way out: a trained elephant was spotted being led into the Los Angeles estate of Richie’s father, music superstar Lionel Richie, where two tents were set up for the ceremony on a warm evening.

Otherwise, the couple appeared to be sticking to tradition. Richie wore a wedding dress by Marchesa, and their rings were by jeweler Neil Lane, who also crafted Richie’s 4-carat engagement ring, sources tell PEOPLE.

These two have how many kids together? You’d think after one there’d be a government sanctioned black ops mission to sew their reproductive organs shut to save the world from any more sleeveless, flat brimmed cap, guyliner wearing offspring.

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