Prince William Won’t Wear a Ring

Prince William will not be wearing a wedding ring after he gets married, a spokeswoman at the palace tells PEOPLE. They say there will be only one ring to rule them all. Wait, that’s Lord of the Rings. They say only Kate Middelton will be wearing a wedding band and it will be made from Welsh gold forged within the land of Mordor. Aw, crap. That’s LOTR again.

A tiny amount of gold mined from the Welsh mountains (not far from where the couple will start their married life on Anglesey,) has been kept in the royal vaults since it was originally presented to William’s grandmother, Queen Elizabeth.

The Queen has “given a piece of the gold that has been in the family for many years to Prince William as a gift,” a palace source says.

I don’t see why he wouldn’t wear one. Prince Charles wears one. Does this guy think he can convince chicks he’s still single? He’s the damn prince. I’d think people will have heard. That’s like Lindsay telling you she’ll keep an eye on your coke when you have to leave for a few minutes.

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