Hugh Hefner and Crystal Harris Not Marrying

Crystal Harris has called off the wedding with Hugh Hefner 5 days before the nuptials and has already left the Playboy Mansion.

Sources inside the mansion say the two had a nasty argument over the weekend on the phone. When all was said and done, Crystal nixed the wedding and moved out. She probably found out there was no prenup because Hugh’s fortune consisted of a stack of old Playboys under his bed.

Somewhere out there Holly Madison is smiling and doing cartwheels through a field of daisies and telling Hugh to “suck it.”

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jeez, no mo' blue ball old man
jeez, no mo' blue ball old man
13 years ago

When your husband to be ejaculates moth balls, even a playboy model with the intelligence of a 12 year old would run for the hills…or a reality show.