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Internet Rumor Claims Ashton Kutcher Knocked Up January Jones

Everyone wants to guess who the father of January Jones’ baby is. First it was James Marsden, which turned out to be just a made up blind item with no truth behind it and now it’s Ashton Kutcher based on another blind item that was probably made up as well. On Oct. 17, BlindGossip published this:

“This married actor had a one-night stand with one of his exes, who is an actress in an acclaimed television show. She wound up pregnant. The actor’s wife found out about the baby, and, to no one’s surprise, went completely ballistic. Both the actor and his wife tried every tactic (money, lawyers, threats to ruin her career) to convince the ex to terminate the pregnancy. Despite enormous pressure from all sides, the ex decided to keep the baby. The actor’s marriage is now on the rocks. We’re not sure how long everyone can remain tight-lipped about this one. It will be difficult to keep such a bombshell out of divorce proceedings, which will likely occur before the New Year.”

Any idiot could figure out the item was referring to Ashton Kutcher, Demi Moore and January Jones. Seems a little too easy to figure out. Sure, it could be plausible. Ashton Kutcher already showed he’s more than willing to bang girls not named Demi Moore. Then again, would January Jones hook up with her ex who said she’d never make it as an actress because she wasn’t good enough? I suppose time heals all wounds. And the best revenge is making it big and then getting pregnant with his baby, right? I don’t know. I’m pretty bad at getting revenge.

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William Shatner
William Shatner
12 years ago

I’ve been telling anyone who’ll listen that I’m the father, but nobody believes me. :(

The Blemish
12 years ago

Sure you are you crazy old coot.

Googol
Googol
12 years ago

Leave William Shatner alone. He is very handsome, funny, rich, and an excellent actor. He is better looking than you will ever be, BLEMISH!!!

William Shatner
William Shatner
12 years ago
Reply to  Googol

Indubitably.

Aitch Slavic
12 years ago

well Mardsen’s wife did file for divorce.

BeetleJuiceYouAreTheFather
BeetleJuiceYouAreTheFather
12 years ago

She would never Abort 35+ grand a month in chilf support..