ESC

Justin Bieber Took the DNA Test

Last Friday night in New Jersey, Justin Bieber took a DNA test under “very controlled circumstances” using a very solid chain of custody. Now he’s one step closer to ending this charade Mariah Yeater calls a paternity suit. As previously mentioned, Bieber will not settle or even discuss a settlement. A smart move considering the baby isn’t his. But in the off chance it is… Justin already bought a fake mustache and glasses and already has the paperwork drawn to change his name to Carlos Bieber.

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chewy
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chewy

Wonder what “very controlled circumstances” means…Probably afraid of his DNA ending up in the wrong hands. Gives new meaning to “identity theft”.

salty
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salty

He said it tasted funny….

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