Apparently in this country you can’t get arrested for jerking off in a theater without your employer getting all huffy. Just ask Fred Willard who was arrested last night for beating his meat in a porn theater. He’s been dropped as narrator from the PBS show Market Warriors, an Antiques Roadshow spin-off, effective immediately.
“Given the unfortunate news reported today, effective immediately, Fred Willard no longer will be involved with the ‘Market Warriors’ series,” said a spokeswoman for WGBH, the Boston public broadcaster that produces the show.
All taped shows featuring Willard narrating will be shelved and re-voiced by Mark Walberg (not that Mark Wahlberg).
May I suggest a new narrating job that’ll benefit from this bad publicity? A Mystery Science Theater type show where Fred talks over porn. It would be funny. You know, except for the 5 awkward minutes of silence shattered only by the sound of skin rubbing against skin as he jacks it to a really hot scene.
What the f**k??? He’s stealing Pee Wee Herman’s material??? Too little, too late…