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Michael Lohan Got Kate Major Pregnant

Last we left Michael Lohan, he was kicking Kate Major in the vagina like it was going out of style. Now they’re having a baby together. Yes, that’s right. Another Lohan will be brought upon this world much like the prophecy foretold.

According to our sources, Kate is in her first trimester. But get this … the restraining order she had against MiLo was lifted only a few weeks ago … so the act of conception was illegal.

Our sources say Michael has not told Lindsay or any of his other children the happy news yet. So Lindsay, we’re pleased to inform you you’re gonna have a brother or sister to whom you can teach the ropes.

Not only will this kid be a bastard but they’ll have been illegally conceived. If this baby is a girl, she’ll have way more daddy issues than Lindsay could ever dream of. Rehab centers all over California already have a spot reserved for that kid.

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