Unborn Baby Outperforms US Men’s Soccer Team, Kicks Hole In Mother’s Womb

Did you know that a baby can kick straight through its mother’s womb? This is apparently a rare but not unique occurrence, and it happened to a woman in China last week. I’ve double and triple checked this story, which was reported by The Sun, and it is a real thing that happened, not a fake story planted on Facebook by Mirena.

The mum, known only as Zhang, was 35 weeks pregnant when she suddenly started suffering stomach pain in the early hours of October 2. Initially she put it down to a tummy upset, but it soon got worse and worse, and she began to break out in a cold sweat. At 10am she went to the emergency department at Peking University Shenzhen Hospital in China, according to the hospital’s social media page. She was complaining of extreme pain and doctors noted problems with her blood pressure, pulse and breathing.

Specialists initially suspected her womb had ruptured and performed an ultrasound. It showed that the foetus’s leg had “kicked through” the uterus wall, into mum’s abdominal cavity, and her thighs were stuck, according to doctors.

You might want to consider this story the next time some Republican starts grandstanding about how he (and it’s always a he) wants to cut funding to Planned Parenthood. You might believe in fiscal responsibility, but when a fetus comes bursting out of you like you’re John Hurt in Alien, you’re going to want some options on how to deal with it.

Surgeons Zhang Lei, Zhang Yanping and Zhong Shilin safely delivered the baby girl in just ten minutes, fearing she could have been stillborn. They discovered blood in mum’s stomach, and a 7cm “break” in her womb wall. Zhang’s medical history revealed she had undergone an operation to remove fibroids from her womb in 2016. As a result she had an old wound scar in her uterus wall, which had left a weak spot. Doctors said mum and baby are both doing well after the little one’s traumatic arrival in the world.

So a happy ending for Zhang and her baby. And if this story hasn’t already caused you to schedule a full hysterectomy, I found a similar story in the New England Journal of Medicine from less than a year ago, reported by the Centre Hospitalier Universitaire d’Angers in Angers, France.

A 33-year-old asymptomatic woman (gravida 6, para 5) presented at 22 weeks of gestation with a large herniation of the amniotic sac through the left uterine wall that was detected by routine ultrasonography. She had had five previous cesarean sections through a transverse incision of the lower uterine segment and no previous vaginal deliveries. Magnetic resonance imaging revealed a 2.5-cm rupture of the left uterine wall (arrows) and a large amniocele that measured 19 cm by12 cm by 9 cm and contained fetal legs. The patient and her partner were informed of the potential risks of these findings, including complete uterine rupture, placenta accreta, hysterectomy, and preterm birth. They opted to proceed with the pregnancy with close monitoring. Repeat ultrasonography at 30 weeks of gestation revealed that the uterine dehiscence had extended 5 cm and the herniated sac had grown and included the fetal abdomen and legs. At 30 weeks of gestation, a healthy male newborn weighing 1385 g was delivered by cesarean section. After the delivery, the left posterior uterine rupture and large amniocele were identified and repaired. The patient had an uncomplicated postoperative course and was discharged from the hospital 5 days later. At 6 months of age, the baby was alive and well.

Another happy ending, but one I find even more horrifying. This woman was asymptomatic, meaning that unlike Zhang, she had no idea that her baby had burst through her womb and his legs were just chilling in her stomach. This is why regular prenatal exams are important. That or just wearing two or three condoms at a time to be safe.

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