ESC

Daniel Craig Just Wanted Sex as a Teen

Everyone, you’re gonna want to sit down for this piece of news. When Daniel Craig was a teenager, all he could think about was sex. Gasp! Someone bring me my fainting couch.

“You want this nice, lovely image of me having my first kiss with hearts sparkling in the background? All I wanted to do was get in the girl’s knickers. I’ve been kissing girls, like stolen kisses in playgrounds…for as long as I can remember. But when puberty hit, my head exploded.” Rolling Stone

A teenage boy wanting sex? I know, I couldn’t believe it either! This is the first I’ve heard of such a thing. On that note, want to hear a Daniel Craig joke?

“What’s the most disgusting thing you can think of?” He doesn’t pause. His Liverpudlian accent jumps right to the punch line. “Shoving five oysters up your grandmother’s cunt and sucking out six!”

Is it weird that I want to hang out with this man now? Buy him a beer, maybe have his children. I don’t have a uterus but I’ll just implant one in myself or something.

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