The Time Jessica Biel Sat Next to Two Naked Old Men

Jessica Biel was on Letterman the other night and warned everyone woman about going to spas in the Swiss Alps. Her story was a harrowing tale of survival and redemption. One in which she was sandwiched between two old, fat, naked Austrian men with their balls hanging out.

“Older, husky men — they were naked and I’m in the middle of them!” she said. “I look over and I realize, yes it is confirmed, there are balls on wood! Not just naked, but balls on wood Dave! I was so stunned … I just laid there sandwiched in between these [guys]. We found out later this is very normal.”

I’ve had nightmares like this. Wait, nightmares or fantasies. I can never tell which one of us is screaming in my dreams.

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