Lil Wayne Signed Paris Hilton to a Record Contract

Those epileptic attacks must have really messed up Lil Wayne’s head because he and Cash Money just signed Paris Hilton to a record contract. Expect a new album in the near future which will reportedly be produced by Afrojack and feature stars like Lil Wayne.

If you still haven’t scrubbed Stars Are Blind from your brain, you’ll be happy to know her new album will focus on house music. Meaning, you probably won’t have to listen to the nails on a chalkboard she calls her voice.

Unless she does end up singing on it. Which would be horrible. Imagine a bat screeching into your ear combined with non-stop “pew pew pew pepeepepew pew pews pews.” It’ll probably replace waterboarding as the government’s preferred interrogation tactic.