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Rob Ford Has More Than Enough Pussy to Eat at Home

Not been following the stories about Toronto’s crack smoking mayor Rob Ford? You’re missing out on a fantastic downward spiral. Judges give it a 9 on the scorecards.

Ford was on live tv for a press conference this morning to address the media and deny allegations that he slept with prostitutes, did lines and, oh, wanted to eat Olivia Gondek’s pussy. Ford said about the last one, “I would never do that. I’m happily married. I’ve got more than enough to eat at home. Thank you very much.”

If I was this guy’s kid watching the press conference, you’d be able to hear me dry-heaving from 50 miles away. I wouldn’t be able to find a metal loofah strong enough to scrub my brain with. Full transcript via Facebook.

“It hurts my wife when they call a friend of mine a prostitute. Alana is not a prostitute. She’s a friend. And it makes me sick how people are saying this. So unfortunately, I have no other choice. I’m the last one to take legal action, I can’t put up with it anymore. So I’ve named the names. Litigation will be starting shortly. I’ve had enough. That’s why I warned you guys yesterday be careful what you wrote. That’s all I have to say for now. And the next thing I want to call Mayor Bratina in Hamilton and tell them we are going to have to spank their little tiger cats. Oh and the last thing was Olivia Gondek, it says it says that I wanted to eat her pussy. Olivia Gondek. I’ve never said that in my life to her. I would never do that. I’m happily married. I’ve got more than enough to eat at home. Thank you very much.”

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