ESC

Jessa Duggar Caught Banging Her Fiance in Church

According to a guest at the wedding where super christian Jessa Duggar married Ben Seewald, they didn’t wait until after the nuptials to consumate their marriage. Satan had gotten to them before then. Anonymous commenter Mary claims Jessa’s sister Jinger walked in on them banging in the church.

As I mentioned to you at the reception I was very upset when I was told about the incident that was witnessed by the girls when the door to the room they were in was accidently opened. I am not sure why they would not wait for the evening to pray and then consumate God’s marriage. The Lord has blessed them and brought them together. To hear so many people discussing what they inadvertendly walked into was heartbreaking and troubling. Why did this happen? How could this beautiful, joyus day now be forever tainted and destroyed by rumors about what the girls may (or may not have) seen? And if this is true why would they commit such an act in the Lord’s home…the same Lord who guided them together. This really made me question Ben’s headship and leadership skills. I pray he is not swayed to evil. I pray he acts as strong husband and worship leader to Miss Jessa. I have a terrible, guy feeling. I have tried talking to my husband about this but he has said he will not talk about it until he prays about it and gets an answer from the Lord. This on average takes about 48 hours for him to recieve an answer.

Of course this is an entirely unsubstantiated rumor and the whole thing reads like satire and I’m 90% sure it is satire because of the last two sentences, but damn if it’s not some great satire. There is absolutely nothing better than subtlety that’s so good that it’s able to plant the seed of doubt in everyone who reads it. Bravo, anonymous commenter. Today, you’ve won my heart.

(H/T Gawker)

 

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Goddamn!

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