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Charlie Sheen’s Bag of Porn and Sexcapades Revealed in New Jon Cryer Book

Hanging out with Charlie Sheen would never get boring. You’d get the hot gold diggers he didn’t want and secondhand highs from his drug use. Pretty much what happened to Jon Cryer in his new autobiography, So That Happened. Cryer devotes a section to Sheen and the time around his implosion on Two and a Half Men. Choice tidbits:

One day during the first season of Two and a Half Men, I got a knock on my trailer door. It was Charlie — my trailer was next to his — and he seemed panicked.

“Dude! Dude! I need your help.” “Sure thing,” I said and ended the cellphone call I was on. “What’s going on?”

He handed me a heavy shopping bag. “Denise is coming over,” he said, “and I need you to hide something for me.” Oh, boy, I thought. If this is drug paraphernalia …

“Is it legal?” I asked. “What? Yeah, oh, yeah. It’s legal. Hey, thanks.” He left, and I had to look.

By legal, he meant barely legal. The bag was filled to the brim with porn.

Sheen and his bag of porn. Being a movie star sounds awesome. Hanging around in your trailer, watching porn, waiting around to regurgitate a few lines, then going out and doing coke with your hot ass girlfriends. Who wants an Oscar? This, THIS, is way better.

I had been enjoying Christmas Day of 2009 so much with my family around me that I somehow managed to stay away from all Internet-connected devices…Then, of course, you give in, check a news site and read that your co-star “Carlos Irwin Estevez” has been arrested in Aspen, Colo., for spousal battery [of third wife Brooke Mueller]. Alarmed and freaked out, I texted him: Dude, my thoughts are with you. If you need to talk, give a call; if you’ve got bigger problems, call me when you get back.

Charlie texted back: Thanks bro. Yikes — f— me, wut a bad day … I’m flying home tonite. I’ll try to call over the weekend. Shower rape was bad but the food was okay. Hair and makeup for mug shot got there too late.

He followed that with: And I had same bail bondsman as Kobe. … No joke … :)

The article goes onto other details and makes for a fascinating read. Basically, if it doesn’t make you want to go to Hollywood right now, you’ve lost the will to dream.

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