Saucy Aussie Burns Cheating Boyfriend’s Dick with Hair Straightener

We all do crazy things when we are 22. Some of us have a lesbian experience or go on a cruise to Mexico with our most insane friends, while others go the “burn a penis with cosmetic tool” route. Bronwyn Joy Parker, I’m talking to you. In her defense, however, she admitted to always being a rather jealous person and warned her boyfriend upfront that she would do this if he cheated on her. Maybe he thought she was joking or playing. Either way, he decided to test the waters and hook up with his ex, so Parker had to fry his fritter.

Two wrongs don’t make a right, people!

Parker pled guilty to recklessly causing serious harm to her ex and received a 9-month prison sentence. During the sentencing, South Australian Judge Paul Muscat addressed the courtroom:

“In short, his penis will be scarred for life [Ed. note: Yeah, I’ll say…] and he will suffer from a number of issues, including the proper function of his penis, not to mention the cosmetic and psychological problems associated with the scarring to such a sensitive site.”

Parker’s counter argument was on point. She stated to the police after the burning, “It didn’t look too bad. It just looked as if I had cooked a piece of meat.” Well, if I’m not mistaken, Parker, THAT’S EXACTLY WHAT YOU DID!

Maybe in the 9 months Parker spends in jail, her ex will find the irony in this situation and learn to laugh about it later. A burn for a burn, bitch.

Now, enjoy this YouTube video of an egg being cooked on a hair straightener and imagine that it’s your dick.

(H/T Daily Mail)

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8 years ago

Article about domestic violence headed up as “we all do crazy things” – tasteful.