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New Tarzan Trailer Has Everything Except A Plot

Even if all plot points and dialogue fail, visuals and auditory sensation will not be neglected in the upcoming, David Yates’ production, Legend of Tarzan.

With the first trailer dropped, it seems like we’re in store for a feral Magic Mike. Aside from all the African forest greenery and gun blasts, there are non-white people in the movie as well–but alas most everyone is shirtless.

The film, a non-Disney (although with Universal in the mix, nothing is non-Disney) reboot of the Tarzan mythology, is not immune to all stock characters and film archetypes played by the usual suspects:

The cast is also filled with blockbuster pros playing their usual roles: Christoph Waltz is a bad guy, Djimon Hounsou is a minor antagonist, Margot Robbie is the sexy love interest, and Samuel L. Jackson is onboard to dispatch one-liners with a knowing nod (which he’ll also do in Kong: Skull Island). To its credit, the film also pulls from cinema history, lifting its vine gymnastics almost directly from Disney’s 1999 version of Tarzan (although, sadly, without the Phil Collins soundtrack).

That sold it for me. 0 out of 10, would not recommend. No amount of muscles in the world can replace the void of Phil Collins in my heart.

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Prince Phillip Anon Harris

lOl! @cool

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